Posts Tagged “The Villiage”

Deliverance Q. Beaktard

Born sometime in the Spring of 2008. Missing in action Fall 2008.

Beaktard, age 8 months, returned home to her Heavenly Father sometime this fall (no one was really paying attention) After a two week battle with letting herself out of the gate. Beaktard was diagnosed with a genetic condition called Beak Retardedness. Beak Retardedness is a condition that emerges within 4 weeks of life that affects the alignment of the beak. This made it very difficult for her to eat. Her bottom beak stuck way out to the left and was always full of dirt, while her top beak was making the scoop a de scoop to the right. Her tongue stuck out the center like a little antenna .

Sara euphemistically named her Deliverance quoting “You got a purdy mouth boy,” this is a famous line from the 1972 movie Deliverance. Below is a clip from the movie. Watch, and remember.

Many believed beaktard would not survive, and suggested we put her out of her misery. She did survive… till she went and got her self killed by wandering too far from The Chicken Village.

She was born this spring in an incubator with many other motherless chicks, and sold to us by a local IFA Store.

Beaktard was a faithful member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, advancing in the ranks of the priesthood, serving as Deacon, Teacher, Priest, Elder, Seventy, Apostle, and Prophet. She also served a two month mission to Africa the country. She went to college at Brigham Young University and died an old maid.

Beaktard’s biggest dream was to eventually marry in the Salt Lake City Temple. She never got the chance.

Beaktard also never got the chance to cook up any eggs for us, but she had a good life. She adopted two rabbits.

Beaktard was an extremely strong, patient, kind, and friendly chicken who worked hard to win over the affection of the humans who would have otherwise eaten her. She loved her Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ and was totally devoted to them. She loved the gospel of Jesus Christ, and enjoyed her job as Chicken.

Beaktard is survived by her two known living sisters, Larca, and Egglantine. She was proud that she was a chicken even when she had to eat with the side of her head flat against the pavement.

She vanished, but until then she was surrounded by loved ones, who kept tossing her back over the fence.

A memorial service will be held at the Church of Brunch on Sunday November 16th at 11:00 am

Friends and family are invited to offer condolences by e-mailing zach@zachmoses.com. Or by giving us money.