Archive for the “Mal Appetit” Category

Sara’s friend Erica came over for brunch this Sunday, and I surprised them with Raw Almond Hummus. I had no idea if the hummus would turn out, but I figured I’d give it a try. I looked all over the internet for a recipe that would work. They all seemed to call for the same basic things, so I improvised the amounts of ingredients into something that sounded good to me.

It was delicious, which is great considering how easily it could have become raw almond diaper cream. Two very different flavors, with very similar textures.

I modified a recipe from GoDairyFree.com (going dairy free, is something I am very opposed to. I advocate for Raw Milk instead.) The only thing this recipe is missing is a splash of  raw milk! In fact, I felt it was missing a certain kind of splash of milk. A  splash, like the ones you get when you’re best friend’s obnoxious ex-girlfriend is at the party, drinking herself to embarrassment , and she splashes vodka down her front and all over your new shoes… That’s the kind of splash of milk I put into the hummus… Yeah that kind.

Anyway the food was fabulous, especially the smoothies, which were made with Kefir. Kefir which I have kept alive for several years. Here are some photos of the process:

Here is the kefir/kefir grains in a mason jar. They have spent 24 hours in the jar awaiting this moment.

Kefir before, or "Kefore"

The Strainer keeps the kefir grains up top, while the snotty milk stuffs goes to the bottom.

You have to be careful not to break the grains

Now the grains go back in the jar.

And some go into Archimedes mouth.

Fresh raw milk goes over the grains.

This is the finished Kefir, this is what we eat. It goes into the smoothie. Along with a couple raw eggs!

Kefir is sour, so it needs lots of berries, and bananas.

Yummy Smoothies Horray!

Two weeks ago, we were at the Downtown Salt lake City Farmer’s Market in Pioneer park, doing our usual sampling, but never buying of the local salsas. However after three years of free loading, we finally decided that this time, we would put out the six bucks for a salsa base mix.

We purchased our base mix from Miracle Salsa. A local Salsa company. The base of all of their salsas, is  Apple Cider Vinegar, Raw Utah Honey, and Garlic. The base mix we purchased, is made of these three base ingredients, plus Rosemary, Cayenne, ginger and salt.

Sara made salsa right away. She used fresh heirloom tomatoes from the student garden at City Academy; a local charter school. She added onions, garlic, cilantro, and Serrano Chillies. The salsa was of course, delicious, but being raw foodists, we had no chips for it. We could have run to the local Mexican Market and gotten chips, but then we would have done the ultimate raw food sin (eat crap, that tastes like crap, because we were so damned impatient.)

Sara kept eating the salsa by the spoon full, she was practically shoving it in by the heal of her hand. She had no chips but would not stop.  “It’s sooo good” she would exclaim.

I think it looks disgusting when people just eat condiments, like eating spoonfuls of ketchup.

I knew I had to make my most delicious chips, so as to continue loving my wife.

To make my Flaxxy Corn Chips you need:

1 1/2 cups Golden Flax Seeds

2 1/2 cups filtered, spring, or well water

1/2 Cup Carrot pulp (leftover from juicing)

1 Ear fresh Sweet Corn

2 Tbsp. Nama Shoyu (unpasteurized Soy sauce)

2 Tbsp. Raw Honey

2 Tbsp. Fresh chopped Onion

1 Clove Garlic

1 1/2 tsp. Indian Red Chilli

1/2 tsp. Cayenne

1/2 tsp. Garam Masala

Method:

The night before, pour the water over the flax seeds, let them stand on the counter. By morning they’ll look like a boogery gloop (it’s okay, this gloop is what holds your chips together.) Put everything in the food processor, in whichever order makes you feel more powerful and full of yourself. process it until its a nice homogenized glop. There will still be loads of unchopped flax seeds, you worry too much, its unimportant. Move to next step.

Transfer the glop onto several nonstick dehydrator sheets (or plastic wrap if you are cheap.)  Spread it out to about an 1/8 of an inch thick. Dehydrate the gluey goop for however long it needs, in order to become crisp. Set your dehydrator as hot as your particular sect of Raw Food Religion will allow. When they are dry enough, transfer them onto the standard tray and do away with the non-stick sheets. Oh, and you can also do this in the sun at no cost to you.

Taste them, they’re delicious! Dip them in salsa, glue them to your walls, make crafts out of them. Hell you could put them in your underwear, to ward of evil spirits. Enjoy!

Can Organic Farming Save the World? Or is Poison Better?

God Damn! Is that not a loaded question? I just read this headline on an article posted at Nutrition Research Center dot org.

Why even bother reading the article?

I didn’t.

I’m sure the title sums up the whole thing.

Poison?

The government wouldn’t allow anything that could hurt us to happen to our food.

Would they?

You see this basket of apples? They look good don’t they? These apples would technically be organic. They’ve never, ever, been sprayed with pesticides, ever. They have never gotten fertilizer, organic or otherwise. These apples were picked from the yard of our neighbor. This is a yard that hasn’t been set foot in since the great depression. I picked them because of the current recession.

I got these apples for free. This is not usually the case with apples.

Most the time if you want a decent apple, you have to get it organic, and it’s going to cost you your whole pay check.

Why? Because they didn’t spray it with poison.

Wait a minute…

WTF? I have to pay more because they didn’t spray poison on my food!?

For Organic apples, the farmer choses to do nothing to the food. Like these apples in the basket, if the Farmer does absolutely nothing evil, he can label it Organic and triple his Profits.

Hooray for the small farms, The Farmer twiddles his thumbs and waits for the apples to grow. What does he do with the wormy apples? He makes them into Applesauce, and we eat those too. Meanwhile Farmer sells the pretty apples for five times as much at the grocery store because he “protected” the apples from poison.

That sounds like the Mafia.

The Organic Produce Mafia.

We are paying for protection when we buy Organic Produce. We are paying Three to Ten times as much for a little Government label that says “Don’t worry, we wont let that mean old farmer come in and poison you and your kids. Just cough up a little more cash, and we wont break your legs.”

Good Job America!

As many of you know, our van went on the fritz shortly before the Thanksgiving holiday. We had been hoping to visit my mother and step father in Boise, but realized we would not be able to afford the drive; due to vehicle repair costs. Then, my mother and step father generously offered to rent us a car and fill it up with gas so we could visit the family. Yet another thing to be thankful for this year.

We made pie, and stuffing from scratch. We baked the pie from fresh acorn squashes, and sweetened it with raw local honey. The stuffing was made from a loaf of fresh baked bread( you have no idea how hard it was to leave a fresh baked loaf of bread out to go stale.) It was all very yummy.

My sister wouldn’t have a bit of the yummy food though.

Each Thanksgiving, my sister has a new set of rules that will not allow her to eat some item on the table. More often than not, the item is meat. This year however was the biggest list of all.

Cherie’s dietary restrictions this year:

beans, animal products, processed foods, cooked foods, grains, sugar, fruit, potatoes, etc. and the list goes on and on.

Diner included:

Turkey - she could not eat this because it has a face.

Mashed potatoes - kills the plant

Gravy - made from the drippings of dead things

Stuffing - made from grain

Cranberry sauce - processed

Rolls - grain

Candied yams - kills the plant, covered in sugar

Fruit salad - fruit, and dairy

Pie - sugar and fun

I’m not sure what she sustained herself on for three days, though in the end she begged me to take her to Bajio Grill where she could get the sole thing she survives on.

Dark green salads with spicy dressing.

She was so happy to finally eat, that I decided not to let her know the lettuce had been murdered.

Ruth’s Diner has always been one of my all time favorite restaurants. The cozy little railroad car, was converted into a restaurant in 1949 and was moved up Emigration Canyon. The food was always fabulous, and a good price too.

They are celebrating 78 years in business making them Salt Lake City’s Second oldest Restaurant.

Unfortunately the restaurant recently changed ownership, and the new owners can’t keep out of the kitchen. They’ve set out to make a few flavor changes, these flavor changes are lame like a half dead horse. Perhaps the recession has hit them hard, and they figure that less is more where spices are concerned.

They cut several popular menu items such as my wife’s favorite Pollenta Benidict, and now they have it only as a special every now and then. The Ranchero sauce is spicier (hotter), but lacks any depth of flavor. Worse yet, they cut their home fries and replaced them with soggy hash browns that taste a bit like the potatoes are starting to turn.

Perhaps they fired their chef?

Either way, Ruth’s diner wins the award “Most Corner Cutting Restaurant.”

Visit them here. Lame Food SLC