Archive for the “fatherhood” Category

Archimedes is getting ready for his first rave. This is him posing in his little outfit.

As you can see Archimedes is indulging in his creative side, with matching yellow shirt and moon boots.

He made sure to select a white diaper so that it would glow under the black lights, and later we will be putting glitter in his hair.

Archimedes roughed up his hair to give himself that fresh out of bed look. Isn’t he adorable?

He was tempted to wear a white shirt for the black light effect, but then decided that the white trim on his boots and tug boat shirt would stand out and make his seem really put together.

I suggested he put his pacifier on a necklace, but he insists he’s a big boy now, and pacifiers have no place out side of nap time.

I tried to tell him that I didn’t want him raving until he was at least three years old, but ever since he got a glow stick on the 4th of July, he’s been begging to go. I guess two and a half is okay, I think he’s more responsible than most raver kids anyway.

Well it’s spring, and Archimedes has no interest in being inside. Luckily we live in Salt Lake City, so we are surrounded by the great outdoor. We decided to go to Memory Grove (City Creek Canyon) and throw rocks in the creak. Archimedes especially likes it when the water splashes Daddy in the face!

Lately, Archimedes has shown some serious improvement in his throwing arm. His aim has improved tremendously, in fact he can already out throw his dad. My fear is that he’ll grow up to be some million dollar baseball playing cash cow, but he’ll resent me for having his mother play catch with him. All I can offer him is how to make wise-ass comments and get away with it.

I suppose I should go buy a couple baseball gloves and learn how to play sports. The things we do for our kids.

Every month or so, I get a wild hair that I could be a healthier person and increase my chances of living forever, by doing some wildly healthy new thing. The latest such idea included a gym membership.

Now, I realize that to most people, going to gym is the first and most obvious move toward a healthier lifestyle. For Sara and I, we figured a little time away from Sr. Cranky Pants would do wonders for our newly wrinkled faces and graying hair.

Our gym membership comes with free babysitting, which gives us an opportunity to play board games or just read books.

Gyms must make a fortune off of new parents.

It’s the most wonderful thing ever, to just be able to drop off our child on unsuspecting drop in day care attendants. They have to pretend that it’s their pleasure too!

Oh, all those times I sat at home bored to tears, trapped, listening to Sara talk about her knitting. Now I can go to the gym, and sit in the lobby… Trapped… listening to Sara talk about her knitting… PLAYING PARCHEESI

Parcheesi, possibly the best bored came ever invented (not to mention way more fun without Archimedes trying to drop the play pieces through the heat register.

Happy Joy Joy!

Here’s little baby Archimedes, barely two days old. Getting his first ever “Daddy provided sustinence”

We’ve seen a huge movement in the last few years in regards to the importance of getting newborn babies to their Mommy’s breast as quickly as possible. Few people realize the importance of getting babies to their Daddy’s noses as quickly as possible.

It’s especially important that babies receive the nose in the first few days of birth, when they are most susceptible to infection.

As you can see, we did not hesitate to get Archimedes to the nose as soon as possible and I’m proud to let other parents know that my son was “nose fed.”

It’s looking back at the little things like this that explain so much about my happy healthy child.

Here’s me and little baby Archimedes.

At this point he’s one day old. (yes, I know I claimed he was born several days ago, two years ago, but it’s the holidays and time stands still when I tell it to.)

He’s so very tired. Yesteryear he’d just plowed his way down the birth canal. Just about took the whole canal with him too. Luckily our very skilled midwife was able to reattach Sara’s legs.

Little did we know, that this was the last time we would ever sleep through the night. Neither Sara, nor I had expected to be woke up every night, every hour, for two years to the sound of Booby, Boobidy, Boobdy Booobdee!

Aw, the little things in life we never cherished until we lost them. Like going to the bathroom without upsetting the little “rule maker.”

Yes, it was all smiles and happiness two years ago.

… and you know what?

It still is!

This is my Dad. Wayne C. Moses.

He was born on Christmas Eve, Nineteen Thirty Eight.

Dad was always a little bit upset about being born on Christmas Eve. Throughout his childhood, most of his presents said Happy Birthday/Merry Christmas!

The thing that was most upsetting about this, was the fact that the gifts were never any bigger for having combined the two holidays together, it just made it cheaper, and easier on the gift givers.

Dad Passed away in April of 2007. He fell ill in February, right after Archimedes was born. We went down to see him in the hospital, but we were afraid to bring our new baby into the hospital to meet his Grandpa for the first time. We didn’t know why Dad was sick, and we didn’t want to infect our little guy. I regret this decision very much. Four days later, my dad crashed, and the doctors put him into a drug induced coma to save his life (yeah I know, the coma sounds kind of stupid in retrospect.) Dad never met his new grandson.

This photo was from Christmas of 2007. Dad was eating a giant Hershey’s Kiss that I re-gifted to him from a student at City Academy. Sara and I went down to see my Mom and Dad for Christmas that year at the very last minute. I’m so very glad we did, because it was the last time we saw my dad before seeing him dying in a hospital.

It was all very surreal, I had always expected my father to live until he was well into his eighties or nineties. He had just build a 6 foot stone wall in his backyard a month earlier. Maybe all the times he ate cereal with sour milk, in order to save money finally caught up with him.

I really miss my dad, and it’s always especially hard on Christmas Eve (Dad’s Birthday). I’ll never really be able to associate Christmas with the birth of Santa ever again, Christmas for me will always be the last great time I spent with my Dad.

After the funeral, we all raided Dad’s old things, or new things, since Dad would never use anything if it was “too nice.” The thing that was hardest for me, was that my father never really wrote anything down. So their aren’t many tear jerking journal entries to read. However, my Mom did find a poem that he wrote several years ago. I thought I might share it with everyone as a tribute to my dad.

A Desert Storm

As the dawn broke, morning shadows fled to hide within their caves.

And the cool breeze brought the white clouds in billowing waves.

As the clouds began to fill the sky, and through the air to churn,

They sent a call on the rising breeze for the shadows to return.

Upon the wings of the rising breeze, went the call across the land,

Till shadows — very slow and thick at first, crept across the desert sand.

Suddenly it seemed, for moments , that the elements lost strength.

The call was ceased, the winds died low, and the shadows gained no length.

But the call came back on a racing wind, from the ever darkening clouds,

And the shadows raced across the sand in giant, ominous shrouds.

From the black clouds gushed forth torrents of rain upon the sand,

Which raced across the dryness, like darting fingers of a hand.

Soon appeared deep, gaping gullies filled with raging, swollen streams,

Which pushed and raged against their banks as if to break their seams.

Then as sudden as it started, rains ceased, wind died away —

The furious black clouds parted, letting through the light of day.

The swollen streams receded, like the closing of a palm,

Till accross the desert vastness, crept a hushed and awesome calm.

And now in the calm, all evidence, of the furious storm was gone.

Except for the deep cut gullies, winding on and on and on.

-Wayne C. Moses

We all love and miss you Dad!

Here is Archimedes. Enjoying his Thanksgiving bath. It’s been almost two years since he was born. We were bathing him at my mothers house, in her laundry sink.

I wish I had a laundry sink.

Archimedes.

That’s an interesting name.

Why? Why is it interesting, or why would we give our son such a long awkward name?

Originality. We figured that with a name like Archimedes Moses, he’d be one of a kind.

Apparently not. I did a google search for Archimedes Moses. It turns out, that there is another Archimedes Moses and he’s older than my Archimedes.

That means my Archimedes is nothing but a cheap copy.

To add insult to injury, this other Archimedes Moses, is an English bulldog. An ENGLISH BULLDOG! Theirs no sissier sounding kind of bulldog! (well, maybe French) Beaten by a bulldog! Oh the humanity!

Go ahead and check out his myspace. Just know that by clicking on the link, that you are a traitor!

We had this beautiful new baby almost two years ago, but I had no blog at the time. So I’ve decided to pretend it just happened, and blog about it now. Hindsight being 20/20, this will give me all sorts of insight into the future.

Sara and I moved to Salt Lake City spring of 2006. We were just freshly married, and decided to put our marriage to the test by moving in with her ex-husband, while we looked for a house… we found one very fast.

Fortunately, this house (purchased in haste) gave our marriage yet another test. Every square inch must be remodeled. The best part, the whole house smells of cat urine, and their feces are everywhere.

As exciting as this all was, Sara is apparently already pregnant at this point!

Nine months pass, Sara almost dies, the midwives bring a pool to the house, and voila new baby.

Little baby Archimedes; born into the dining room of an ex-crack house. It still looked like a crack house, but it was indeed our happy home.

Here he is in the picture, sitting with me, his new dad. His beautiful new dad, no wrinkles, no dark circles, and no frown lines. What a happy day.

Two years later I’ll look like the Emperor from Star Wars. That’s okay though.

Anywho, I figured I could spread the joy of the last two years with everyone… and pretend it’s exciting and new!

Enjoy!

Sara has been laid up for days now. I feel so bad for her …I feel so bad for me. Normally, when Sara gets home from work, she takes over watching Archimedes.

I don’t know how to watch Archimedes at night! Its’ TOTALLY DIFFERENT!

He keeps asking for booby, and I don’t know what to do!

I can’t breast feed him, that’s wrong on so many levels!

What do you feed kids at night? I know breakfast and lunch, but I’ve never been faced with dinner!

Somebody help me! How long can a kid survive sucking on rags dipped in honey?

Every night I have to go through the house and do a retard check.

You know, like making sure that all the other people in my house haven’t done retarded things. IE: leaving lights on, leaving cheese on the counter. Leaving the back door open.

How hard is it to close a back door anyway?

My personal favorite retarded move is leaving shit in the toilet. “Its just that I get so used to not flushing it, when it’s just pee,” they say.

Who fucking thought up that idea? Leave a stinky toilet full of piss? WTF? I don’t want other peoples piss splashing back at me!

Or more terrible (for me anyway)”I didn’t want to go all the way downstairs to turn off the light.” This one never gets old. What the hell is the point of being so handy, if no one uses the god damned three way light switch I installed! You don’t have to go downstairs. You just have to lift your arm!

Now Archimedes has figured out how to turn on the TV!

Aurghh… the worst part of the whole thing? How unimportant all my pet peeves are! It’s not fair.