Guys, this has got to be the coolest graffiti art ever.

Sara’s friend Erica came over for brunch this Sunday, and I surprised them with Raw Almond Hummus. I had no idea if the hummus would turn out, but I figured I’d give it a try. I looked all over the internet for a recipe that would work. They all seemed to call for the same basic things, so I improvised the amounts of ingredients into something that sounded good to me.

It was delicious, which is great considering how easily it could have become raw almond diaper cream. Two very different flavors, with very similar textures.

I modified a recipe from GoDairyFree.com (going dairy free, is something I am very opposed to. I advocate for Raw Milk instead.) The only thing this recipe is missing is a splash of  raw milk! In fact, I felt it was missing a certain kind of splash of milk. A  splash, like the ones you get when you’re best friend’s obnoxious ex-girlfriend is at the party, drinking herself to embarrassment , and she splashes vodka down her front and all over your new shoes… That’s the kind of splash of milk I put into the hummus… Yeah that kind.

Anyway the food was fabulous, especially the smoothies, which were made with Kefir. Kefir which I have kept alive for several years. Here are some photos of the process:

Here is the kefir/kefir grains in a mason jar. They have spent 24 hours in the jar awaiting this moment.

Kefir before, or "Kefore"

The Strainer keeps the kefir grains up top, while the snotty milk stuffs goes to the bottom.

You have to be careful not to break the grains

Now the grains go back in the jar.

And some go into Archimedes mouth.

Fresh raw milk goes over the grains.

This is the finished Kefir, this is what we eat. It goes into the smoothie. Along with a couple raw eggs!

Kefir is sour, so it needs lots of berries, and bananas.

Yummy Smoothies Horray!

Two weeks ago, we were at the Downtown Salt lake City Farmer’s Market in Pioneer park, doing our usual sampling, but never buying of the local salsas. However after three years of free loading, we finally decided that this time, we would put out the six bucks for a salsa base mix.

We purchased our base mix from Miracle Salsa. A local Salsa company. The base of all of their salsas, is  Apple Cider Vinegar, Raw Utah Honey, and Garlic. The base mix we purchased, is made of these three base ingredients, plus Rosemary, Cayenne, ginger and salt.

Sara made salsa right away. She used fresh heirloom tomatoes from the student garden at City Academy; a local charter school. She added onions, garlic, cilantro, and Serrano Chillies. The salsa was of course, delicious, but being raw foodists, we had no chips for it. We could have run to the local Mexican Market and gotten chips, but then we would have done the ultimate raw food sin (eat crap, that tastes like crap, because we were so damned impatient.)

Sara kept eating the salsa by the spoon full, she was practically shoving it in by the heal of her hand. She had no chips but would not stop.  “It’s sooo good” she would exclaim.

I think it looks disgusting when people just eat condiments, like eating spoonfuls of ketchup.

I knew I had to make my most delicious chips, so as to continue loving my wife.

To make my Flaxxy Corn Chips you need:

1 1/2 cups Golden Flax Seeds

2 1/2 cups filtered, spring, or well water

1/2 Cup Carrot pulp (leftover from juicing)

1 Ear fresh Sweet Corn

2 Tbsp. Nama Shoyu (unpasteurized Soy sauce)

2 Tbsp. Raw Honey

2 Tbsp. Fresh chopped Onion

1 Clove Garlic

1 1/2 tsp. Indian Red Chilli

1/2 tsp. Cayenne

1/2 tsp. Garam Masala

Method:

The night before, pour the water over the flax seeds, let them stand on the counter. By morning they’ll look like a boogery gloop (it’s okay, this gloop is what holds your chips together.) Put everything in the food processor, in whichever order makes you feel more powerful and full of yourself. process it until its a nice homogenized glop. There will still be loads of unchopped flax seeds, you worry too much, its unimportant. Move to next step.

Transfer the glop onto several nonstick dehydrator sheets (or plastic wrap if you are cheap.)  Spread it out to about an 1/8 of an inch thick. Dehydrate the gluey goop for however long it needs, in order to become crisp. Set your dehydrator as hot as your particular sect of Raw Food Religion will allow. When they are dry enough, transfer them onto the standard tray and do away with the non-stick sheets. Oh, and you can also do this in the sun at no cost to you.

Taste them, they’re delicious! Dip them in salsa, glue them to your walls, make crafts out of them. Hell you could put them in your underwear, to ward of evil spirits. Enjoy!

Apparently I’ve got this resistant strain of strep. It  keeps on resurfacing the moment I do anything, that compromises my immune system. Even if have a single beer, or miss an hour of sleep, I could eat a doughnut, or drive 5 miles over the speed limit. Then this horrible beast, this wolf in sheep’s clothing, this crocodile lying in wait, surfaces from my spinal column and drags my unsuspecting tonsils down, to drown in the murky depths of tonsil puss and inflamation.

Gross huh?

Try having strep throat 8 times in 10 months. I’m on antibiotics more often then I’m off antibiotics.

Several times, I take the pills, the sore throat goes away,  I finish the course, then two days later BAM, I have strep again.

I’m like one of those factory farmed cows, that eat antibiotics with every meal. The only things I’m missing is being fed ground up dead humans, and living in my own poo.

Heading to the sliding scale clinic later, to get the latest in kidney/liver destroying antibiotics later.

Wish me luck!

Every other morning or so, Archimedes simply demands, that we have a tea party. Most days we’re just using dry tea, so he demands the tea’s variety according to box color. “Medes want Greeeen box Daddy!” (mint tea) or “No, Daddy, Medes want yellow box. I, I, I, don’t want Greeeen box.” (chamomile tea) It’s all very adorable, and I can never turn him down.

However, since becoming raw foodists, the idea of pouring boiling water over my tea bags, seems downright sacrilegious. In fact using processed tea bags at all, seems like a violation of protocol. Soon the raw gods will reign terror upon my abdomen.

So, Archimedes and I decided to make sun tea. We used fresh mint leaves that Sara got from Southeast Asia Supermarket. Which by the way has got to be the best Asian Market, east of Asia.

We put the leaves and honey into a mason jar, then added a heaping scoop of local raw honey. We then covered the leaves and honey with fresh well water. We get our well water from the 800 South Artesian Well Park in Salt lake City, where you can get free well water everyday, from four constantly flowing water spewers.

After the Tea sat on our back patio for 4 or 5 hours, it was ready for drinking. I mixed in a little raw milk from Huckleberry Dairy. Then BANG, Raw sun tea, complete with flavor to the max ™!

Archimedes loves this tea so much, that he insists on having his tiny tea cups, full at all times. “More tea daddy, more tea!”

We had the bulk of the tea in reserve, in the big pitcher. Although Archimedes insisted it be poured each time into the tiny pitcher, before being then poured into cups.

It was a very long process.

My cup was the tiny pink cup. I wanted the yellow one, but Archimedes insisted that the yellow one was his. Then I tried for the blue cup, which he promptly insisted, was his as well.

Apparently I need to work on my “Masculinity” before I’m allowed use of either of the “cool” cups.

The last image is an angle, that Archimedes simply demanded be taken, and be uploaded to the blog.

So long, and I hope you all enjoy making Sun Tea as much as we do!

My family and I just took a trip to Florida. Which was Awesome!

I would have invited all of you readers… but, you know.

When we were about to board our flight back to salt lake city, the flight boarding personnel announced that the flight was in critical condition. Of course this scares the hell out of me, I’m thinking that our plane is about to have critical engine failure or something.

It turns out they meant that the boarding was critical, as in they booked way too many people on the flight. So, they need 10 volunteers to hang back for an extra day in Panama City.

They gave us a free hotel, food vouchers, and $900 bones toward future travel. Awesome!

The hotel though, that’s what i wanted to tell you guys about.

So the lobby of the hotel has 120 ceiling fans or so, too many to count. Seriously we tried, we counted them a half dozen times, and got a different number each time. Why would they want so many fans? Two possible reasons.

1- it’s a tourist town, and they want some flare!

2- the top of the building can detach from the foundation, and if all the fans are running full blast, the hotel can hover down Martin Luther King Blvd.

I’m leaning toward option number two.

The look of indignity. You’d think Archimedes was upset when we gave him the cookie beater.

Maybe he was just upset that I took the picture.

Maybe he’s upset, because he knows that when he’s twenty five, and I’m showing his other half these photos, it’ll be extra apparent that having a stay at home dad is way more embarrassing than having a stay at home mom.

We try not to feed Archimedes any processed sugar, so these cookies were only sweetened with honey and molasses.

The look on his face; you’d think he just came to some great realization about this batter. It reminds me of the time, when I convinced him, that the chocolate ice cream i’d just given him really came out of  the dogs rearend.

He struggled with that one, but then finished the ice cream anyway exclaiming “more chokit poo? Medes want more chokit poo, daddy!”

I’m so glad I have this blog, so I never forget these tender moments.

Archimedes is getting ready for his first rave. This is him posing in his little outfit.

As you can see Archimedes is indulging in his creative side, with matching yellow shirt and moon boots.

He made sure to select a white diaper so that it would glow under the black lights, and later we will be putting glitter in his hair.

Archimedes roughed up his hair to give himself that fresh out of bed look. Isn’t he adorable?

He was tempted to wear a white shirt for the black light effect, but then decided that the white trim on his boots and tug boat shirt would stand out and make his seem really put together.

I suggested he put his pacifier on a necklace, but he insists he’s a big boy now, and pacifiers have no place out side of nap time.

I tried to tell him that I didn’t want him raving until he was at least three years old, but ever since he got a glow stick on the 4th of July, he’s been begging to go. I guess two and a half is okay, I think he’s more responsible than most raver kids anyway.

Most parent wake their kids up to a steaming hot bowl of oatmeal, or a nice bowl of Cocoa Puffs; not me though. Only the best for my boy.

Cherries and Orange juice. All part of a nutritious morning meal. The Metamucil I slipped him earlier is just out of frame.

Fruit and fiber, yes sirree.

The only thing this balanced breakfast is missing, is a 4 pack of TP and a mad dash for the potty, no time for reading THIS morning.

First off, I just want to apologize to everyone about the poor weather.

Yeah, my fault entirely. You see, I spent all the winter months, remodeling my house, and one of the final steps, was to bulid in the new gas fireplace.

Well, you can understand my disapointment when it promptly warmed up, and I never got a chance to use my new firplace.

Then I made a big boo boo. I uttered a prayer. Now I know, most people wouldn’t think of me as a froo froo prayer person. It was an accident.

I said “Goddamn  this good weather! I want to be able to use my F#@&ing fireplace!” Well… turns out, there is a God and sometimes he gets bored.

So I figure God was up there on his throne in the clouds, twiddeling his thumbs (an eternity of preventing per-marital sex is an awful dull existance) when he hears my accidental prayer.

God figures he’ll have himself a few laughs, then BAM two weeks of rain. It’s even going to rain on my birthday. It’s never rained on my birthday.  Never.

Well ha ha God, I get the point. Don’t take your name in vain, and all that jazz. Any chance you could throw me another bone, and not allow the rain to come rolling back in this weekend? No? Goddammit.